What does it take to be a good mom? This is one question that never fails to fill many of my waking hours. As a mother of twin teen boys and two young girls, I always ask myself whether I’m doing the best thing. That’s because I always value excellence in everything I do, especially when it comes to parenting. And so, I read books, learn from other parents, and pray for guidance.
The basics are easy enough: feed them, clothe them, shelter them, provide them with good education, teach them about faith, and shower them with love. I make sure that they grow in a psychologically and financially stable environment so they can be free to explore their various hobbies, interests, and passions.
It’s the “extras” that are difficult. For example, my children say that I don’t spend enough time with them. But as far as I can tell, I spend all my non-working hours with them. We not only see plays and watch movies, we also engage in sports. They say I’m too strict when it comes to rules. But then, I am only doing so to instill a sense of discipline and responsibility in them. I try to make them realize that there are consequences to their actions—or inactions.
Through the 16 years that I’ve been a mother, there have been good days and bad days. There have been times when I’ve been overwhelmed with joy. And there have also been times when I’ve been sickened with frustration. But what I’ve learned through all those years is that I can only try my best. There is no one way to raise a child. One child is different from the next. And so, what worked for Darla may not do so for Meggy. Although I also get complaints on that – “You’re unfair!“
And so I keep trying. I keep working at being the best mom I can be because when I see my four children, I know that all my efforts are worth it.
Happy mothers day to all mothers out there! Please also read A Bunch of Flowers, an essay about my son Nicolo and other essays from smart, inspiring moms in www.smartsuperwomen.com